Warning: This Post Contains Bad Smells

I've been pretty swamped at work lately which means at 5:00 I'm ready to go by sprinting out the door of my office, leaping in my car, and roaring out of the parking lot like I'm driving the Batmobile. Which is exactly what I was doing last week because everyone knows Mondays Tuesdays Wednesdays every work day is exhausting.

I pulled into my driveway twenty minutes later and immediately felt calmer. Just being home makes my stress levels go way down because I know that I can spend the next seven hours being lazy.

So after checking the mail, I made my way to my front door. I was reading a piece of mail while I put my key in the lock and pushed the door open.

AND OH MY GOSH, THE SMELL.

The smell of dog crap hit me in the face so hard that I gagged on the air. And then I immediately turned back around and closed the door. Because obviously I was going to wait until my fiancee got home, pretend that I had just pulled up, and somehow force him to go in the house before me. Because the rule in my house is whoever finds the "accident" cleans the "accident" up.

So when Andy pulled up three minutes later, I was just getting out of my car and all, "Oh, hi. Wow. Totally random that we got here at the same time, huh? That pretty much never happens. What a coincedence!" And Andy was all, "What are you trying to hide, Sara?" And I was all, "Ha, ha, ha, oh, you. You sweet, beautiful, charming fiancee of mine. Don't be silly!" And he was all, "There's dog poop in the house, isn't there?"

He knows me so well.

So I guess that after five minutes of not smelling the putrid scent of twosies in the air, I had forgotten how bad it was. And when we opened the door to go in the second time, I started gagging so I had to go *back* outside in order to not throw up. Which is when I hear Andy inside sounding like Chewbacca or something because he's not really forming coherent sentences but occasionally I think I hear something resembling the words "we are so selling this dog!!"

Which obviously gets the best of my curiosity. So I plugged my nose and headed in to see what was making Andy go all Mel Gibson on Penny Lane. When I peeked around the corner into the room where we keep the dogs, I saw Penny Lane.

Covered. In. Poop.

I mean, it was everywhere. It was caked on her feet, her legs, her belly, her tail, and the top of her HEAD. The bottom of her cage was completely brown, and it was smeared on the floor like she had been finger painting with it.

Which would seem pretty bad. But alone, that story is nothing. Because Penny decided to have an "accident" in her kennel again EVERY DAY for four days in a row. So for four days in a row, I got to come home from work to the smells of Miss Penny Lane. So yeah, last week was a really great week for me.