Getting married is supposed to be one of the most important days of a person's life. Little girls always dream of weddings where they'll dance with their new husband and eat cake and take a million pictures. I know that's what I always pictured when I was a kid.
As I get older, I'm not completely sure if that's what I want, though. I have been planning a wedding for the past nine months for October of next year, and the more I think about it, the less I feel the need for an elaborate, expensive wedding.
My fiancee (Andrew) and I have done a lot on our own. We are both young, so we've learned how to become adults together. When we first moved in together, we were two separate people, but now we're actually a couple. We make decisions together, pay the bills together, and spend most of our free time together. We aren't the type to run to our parents when we have a problem or a question because we like being independent and taking care of ourselves.
The more I think about it, the more I think eloping would be more romantic than a huge wedding. Eloping would allow the two of us to share our vows in private. We wouldn't have to feel like we were putting on a show for all of our friends and family. It would make our wedding more about US than about everybody else. I like the idea of getting married on a beach, just the two of us.
But I know there are things I would miss about a wedding. I already have my dress, and it's absolutely beautiful. I can't imagine NOT wearing that dress on my wedding day. I would miss the pictures. I've always dreamed of the father/daughter dance at my wedding, and if I elope, I will never get to experience that.
I don't want to look back and regret my decision when I'm older. I hear women say all the time, "Once the reception is over, you'll feel all the stress melt away." But I don't WANT to feel stressed during my entire wedding and reception. I don't want to be miserable, thinking about money and hoping for perfection, while I'm trying to plan a wedding and more importantly, a marriage to the man I love.
So do you guys have any advice? Have any of you ever eloped? Have you ever regretted it? And if you had a big wedding... are you happy you got married in front of all your friends and family?
I can't give advice as a married girl, frankly, I am about the only one not married in my circle of friends. Every single one of them seemed to stress when they were planning their weddings. And every one of them thought about eloping as well. I say don't do it. Find a way to calm yourself from the stresses of the wedding planning. Once you are in the scene of your wedding, it will all be gorgeous and well worth it. And it still can be all about you and your fiance'. I have had to tell that to all my girlfriends and once the wedding gets here, they always thank me!
ReplyDeletei will humbly say take your time and trust God. sometimes we make hasty decisions and that is the reason for some of the regrets. i wish you the best. but take your time and make sure that this is what you really want to do. personally we didn't elope and we planned our wedding. it was some stress involved but it was a great experience. you can do it. best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI was married. We had a small ceremony with just family. I never felt nervous or had butterflies or anything. That should have told me something. I think that if you feel stressed planning a wedding, it means the wedding and marriage means a lot to you. If you get nervous beforehand, it means you've thought about it a lot and have made really sure that it's the decision you should be making. Eloping may seem easier but in the long run you'll be happier with the wedding with the dress and everything.
ReplyDeleteI'm going against everyone here--I say "elope." You can still get married on a beach in your beautiful dress (I know someone who did that), and, if you want your parents to be there, invite them, but make them stay in another hotel! You can probably find an inexpensive but good photographer--or someone in your family might take good photos. Instead of spending all that money on a wedding, spend it on a fabulous honeymoon in Italy!
ReplyDeleteK. Smith
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